The Rock - Post #1

Bad things are going to happen

You will wake up late,

your car won’t start.

Someone will try to make 477 copies

Of an assignment they don’t need

until Wednesday,

Causing the copy machine to stop

every three pages, so you can look

for a jam that doesn’t exist.

Twenty-two students will choose your class

To go down to the auditorium to take their picture retakes.

You will spend hours meticulously pouring over

Every activity, handout, and Powerpoint,

But you will still use the wrong there.

All but one student

Will forget about the homework you assigned.

You CT will be out with the flu,

But she’s got you covered - she called in a sub.

That sub will go get coffee

At Starbucks, and wont return for another 45 minutes.

You’ll create a Powerpoint

But forget to use it until after the class has ended.

You’ll spend hours making thoughtful comments

On each assignment,

Your dog will feast on every fragment.

There is a Nigerian folktale about a turtle.

The turtle, being hunted by a hippopotamus and an elephant,

Was doomed to become dinner.

As he tried so stealthily to sneak away,

He felt a rock lodged between him and his shell.

He retreated to retrieve it.

It took hours to dislodge.

As he returned to meet his match,

He was alone in a sea of like-sized rocks.

So here’s the deal, the skinny, the scoop,

You will forget your lunch and

Be forced to eat the cafeteria’s mush.

You’ll loose your hair, your phone will get stolen,

You’ll be mistaken for a student,

you’ll forget to set your alarm.

Open your eyes, pick up a rock,

And admire the conjunction

Where the smooth edges meet its sharp point.