GR#3 - How to Get Your Students to Wear Their Pants at a Respectable Level

How to Get Your Students to Wear Their Pants at a Respectable Level

            First, try to avoid the awkwardness of noticing the young gentleman in front of you has his rear end hanging out. Try to look past the fact that his pants are nearly around his ankles and see the bright future he has ahead of him. Compliment him. Tell him his hair looks nice. He spent countless hours trying to get his “J”s to match the rest of his carefully picked out ensemble. Build up his confidence. But whatever you do, don’t look down.

            As he waddles down C hall, he must maintain his swagger. You can tell his pants are slipping, but he can’t lose face and pull them up. Your efforts have failed you. You’ve glanced and now you can’t look away. They’re half way down now. He stops and nods his head in the direction of one of the freshmen girls. She looks impressed. Now, they’re nearly to his knees. He bends down to get a drink from the water fountain. Whoops! No mas. Take him aside. Ask him patiently to keep his pants pulled up. These efforts, too, will fail.

            But you carry on. You tell him the history of sagging pants. The weakness and inferiority they represent in jail, how that reflects and affects his image. He scoffs, Tell that to Weezey. You’re not sure if he’s referring to the wheezing you suffer from due to your asthma or George Jefferson’s wife “Weezie.” That question will forever remain unanswered. He nods his head, looking slightly confused. But you’re convinced you got through to him. As he walks away, you feel satisfied, until you see him the next day.

He’s got red shoes on today instead of blue. His hair is nicely done. And look he’s even wearing his pants at a respectable… oh wait. There they go again. Nope. Your eyes deceived you. His pants are at the same ridiculously low level, and gravity is not on his side.